Dark Secret

Ni Jade Mark Capiñanes

“Darling, tell me your darkest secret.”

“Huwag na. Nahihiya ako.”

“Sige na. Gusto mo ako ang mauna?”

“Sige na nga. Shoot.”

“I'm not wearing any underwear right now.”

“Binibigla mo naman ako, e.”

“Ano na? Tell me your secret.”

“Fine. Basta huwag mong sabihin sa iba, ha?”

“Trust me.”

“Well, paano ko ba sasabihin 'to. You remember last time I told you I hate Murakami? That I don't read his works? Kasi mainstream? That's just snobbery.”

“What? Ano'ng kinalaman ni Murakami dito?”

“Sabi mo darkest secret. To tell you honestly, I like the works of Murakami. You know we, Murakami and I, both have the taste for the surreal, the magical, the fantastic. For dry humor. And we both love the minimalism of Raymond Carver. Ugh. I can't believe I'm telling this to you right now.”

“Okay. Ngunit hindi ba sabi mo dati you hate his works dahil socially detached?”

“At least they don't pretend to be 'socially aware.' Hindi gaya ng iba diyan na hindi pina-practice what they preach. And when you think about it, social awareness must always start at the personal. Sometimes 'socially aware' is just a lie we tell ourselves when we are already tired of trying to come to terms with the mysteries of the self.”

“Sabi mo rin hindi ba na depression porn?”

“I was referring to 'Norwegian Wood.' I'm more into his short fiction pieces. Just because you like an author doesn't mean you like all his works. Like Barthelme. You know I like most of his postmodern works, lalo na 'yung metafictional, but some are just purely intellectually masturbatory.”

“Shit ka naman, e. I just told you I'm not wearing any underwear right now, and 'yan ang sasabihin mo? And you mention about masturbation, hindi pa in the erotic sense. 'Yan na ba darkest secret mo? Reading Murakami? Can't it be more personal, intimate?”

“Sorry. Sige na nga. 'Yung brief ko ngayon may mukha ni Murakami.”